


in every world there is

by malaika_mzuri



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Infinity War, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, I'm being real serious Steve is going to die, M/M, gay centenarians can't catch a break, sads in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 01:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13870296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malaika_mzuri/pseuds/malaika_mzuri
Summary: An abstract part of him thought how right it felt. That he would be found here, surrounded in a loose semi-circle of those fuckers, watching Steve’s six. Just like he was meant to.





	in every world there is

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by Laura and her sad headcanons. I really paused my work to do this cause I thought about it all day Can't believe Marvel is about to take my money so I can see one of my boys die. Enjoy!

Despite all his bastardized serum did, Bucky was starting to feel the strain of trying to keep off all the goddamn aliens trying to rip his face open. He had just cleared a row of them with his rifle and was swinging it around to hit another with his metal fist when his communication bead started beeping before bringing up Steve’s face as he whipped his arm back.

“You remember that time I got into a fight with Joey Davies when he bad mouthed my ma after she died.”

“Steve,” Bucky hissed, “this is not the time to play nostalgia.” He glared at the video feed, barely able to duck before an Outrider tried to decapitate him.

“But do you?”

“You caught pneumonia ‘cause you had three bruised ribs in the middle of winter and I had to basically carry you home, of course I remember.”

“And when we got in, I said that he had it coming and you asked me whether I really wanted those to be my last words because you were going to kill me.”

“I’m not gonna lie Stevie, I’m about to hang up on you” Bucky could stop Natasha engaging with multiple aliens and was about to head over and help his former protege when Steve’s next words stopped him in his tracks.

“Well before you do, could I have a do-over?”

Bucky stared at the hovering image over his arm incredulously, wondering whether he had heard Steve right or if he was taking the words the way they were intended?

“Steven-”

“It’s just,” Steve dropped out of frame for a moment before three dull thumps were heard as parasites supposedly hit the floor, “these bastards aren’t stopping and I need you to tell Sam that he’s my best friend-”

Bucky didn’t even get the time to feel affronted before Steve spoke again.

“-because you,” Steve grunted with the effort of keeping the growing number of aliens off his back, the video shaking at at canted angle that left Bucky feeling even more dizzy than the wait was making him, “James Buchanan Barnes, are the love of my life, pal,”

And of course, at that very moment, Steve’s feed cut out, leaving Bucky to stare into the empty space above his arm where his face had been. His heartbeat rushing rapidly through his ears was the only sound he heard, the noise of the battle surrounding him silenced as his mind rushed through the different possibilities as why,  _ how _ , Steve could decided that  _ this _ , was the right time to drop a bomb like that and then leave.

“Birdbrain, can you reach Steve on comms?”

“He’s...not answering, no.”

Shit, so now, he had decided to go AWOL as well? Bucky heaved a sigh, trying to ignore the rise in the low level panic that he constantly felt regarding Steve ever since the day they met. He couldn’t stop the hysteria building inside him and a small part of him winced at how unstable he sounded as he fiddled with the tracker bead that he had begged Shuri to program.

“Sam, cover me, I’m going to find Steve.”

The mounting distress in him must have been evident because not a single quip came out of the other’s mouth and he instead was only passed by with the shadows of Sam’s wings as he followed the direction that lead the beeping from his beads to increase in frequency.

Of course, the closer he got to Steve, the larger the thicket of aliens he had to mow his way through. It was as if Steve had actively sought out the most populated part of the area and smacked his way right into the middle. He was trying to save ammo so it was just him, his knife and his arm against the claws but the fatigue from earlier had faded to be left with a thrum in his veins of  _ gotta find Steve, gotta get to Steve. _

The beeping from his wrist was almost constant when he noticed it. The trail of small blood splatters leading their way into the trees. His stomach bottomed out and he could feel a thick lump form in his throat as he ran closer, staunchly ignoring the path. A lone Outrider stood in his way and without sparing a glance, he flipped the knife into his other hand and sliced its throat, side stepping out of the way of the limp body.  
  


That’s when he heard it, the shallow breaths that took him back to winter nights in Brooklyn, him sitting vigil all night to press a warm cloth against a pale back in hopes that it would stave off the chill residing in the chest of the person he had never wanted to wake up without. He rounded the corner to see Steve, slumped up against a tree, hand pressed tightly against his abdomen with his fingers already starting to drip crimson. Bucky turned off his Kimoyo beads and ripped out his comms, rushing to kneel in front of Steve and press a vibranium hand against the one stained in blood, willing it to stay inside.

“So what you were gonna say all that,  _ friendzone _ me and then…,” Bucky couldn’t even finish his sentence, too choked up to even speak that idea into existence.

Steve let out a sharp snort, causing him to wince before he covered it up with a dopey smile.

‘I get it, you know.”

“What,” Bucky sniffed as he pressed his hand down over Steve’s harder, “that you’re an idiot?.”

“No, I get why this time, it could never work out,” Steve’s voice was hoarse but his words were firm and his eyes impossibly clear as he looked up at Bucky. “No matter how you feel, my love for you is...all consuming. Would’ve burnt everyone right up, i’d have teared the world apart for you. Almost did” 

A wet sounding cough pushed its way out of Steve’s hand, leading to Bucky feeling even more blood slide down the plates of his hand. When he looked back to Steve’s face, it was even more ashen than it had been 10 seconds prior.

“No, no, we would have- I’d have done the same for you Steve. I love you.  _ Please, _ ” Bucky was pleading not only Steve but to any higher power that would still listen to an old sinner like him , to please let him live, he didn’t know what he would be if-

“What- what I  _ do  _ know though,” Steve’s voice started to stutter and he had to take in a shaky breath for every couple of words he said, “ what I know is that in every version of the world that exists, there is a me loving you. So much that it hurts sometimes to think about. That it feels like I could float on it. And in at least- one of them, we’re safe and happy and  _ free. We’re free, Buck _ ”

Bucky’s vision was blurred from the tears gathering and he let them fall, determined no to let anything cloud his sight of those cerulean eyes that caught his attention whether surrounded in bruises or shining with mirth.

“Now you listen here, this is one of them. I did not crawl myself back from that pit for you to leave me. You don’t get to do that.”

Steve reached his hand up to cup Bucky’s face, slowly dragging his thumb over a tear as Bucky leaned into the touch. “ Don’t cry for me Buck. My soul- it was never meant to exist with yours. We, we’ve been tied together since the birth of the universe itself. So I’ll be waiting for you,” Steve slipped his hand down to place it over Bucky’s chest. “End of the line, jerk. I’m never letting you go.”

Bucky leaned in then a peppered a kiss over ever part of Steve’s face he could: his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his beard. He cupped Steve’s face with his hand, allowing the warmth of it to pass through the glove and ignite his flesh one last time.

“I need you,” Bucky keened, pressing a kiss against Steve’s lips, felt the feeble return of it on his own. His proximity meant that he could pinpoint the exact moment it happened. Steve took in a deeper breath and exhaled against his lips, his chest settling into the tranquility that would be it’s default setting. 

Bucky cried out brokenly, pulling Steve’s body closer to him, shaking him as if somehow that could bring him back.

“No, Steve please, I can’t-  _ I can’t _ ”

———

He didn’t know how much time had passed but he heard the beeping of Steve’s beads which were a little way in front of them, having been taken off during the final tussle. He had his head back against the trunk, knee held up as he balanced his rifle on top of it with Steve bracketed between his raised leg and the one cushioning him underneath. The echo of Shuri’s bead as she got closer to their location rang in his ears. An abstract part of him thought how right it felt. That he would be found here, surrounded in a loose semi-circle of those fuckers, watching Steve’s six. Just like he was meant to.

His knife was sitting near his free hand and Bucky glanced at it before looking at Steve, He seemed so peaceful, lines that plagued his face even in sleep smoothed out. He was more like the Steve that he had grown up with now than he had been in 75 years. It was aa if he had finally taking his first breath after being under for so long

And maybe Bucky wanted to breathe too.


End file.
